Wording complications, inner envelopes and deciding whether to invite
your cousin's on-again-off-again boyfriend that's just a sampling of
some of the etiquette questions that can arise when dealing with wedding invitations.
Planning
a wedding can be complicated because there are so many etiquette
guidelines that you may not be familiar with. And even if you're not
worried about offending Miss Manners, you also have to consider your
guests and you don't want to inadvertently offend your friends or
family.
Traditional wedding invitations
are ivory (or white) with black lettering. Decades ago, that was the
only option and the only acceptable type of invitation. Today there are
lots of types of invitations, instead of strictly following etiquette,
invitations reflect the bride and groom's personal style and taste and
give guests and idea of the feel of the wedding. Now, invitations are
all different colors, sizes, types of paper and print. Some couples are
even doing post cards or even electronic invitations.
Pay close
attention to addressing the invitations. The only people invited to the
wedding are the people listed on the envelope, so don't address the card
to your Aunt Mary and Uncle Billy and assume they'll bring your cousin
Timmy as well. Doing so is bad etiquette on their part, so make sure to
address carefully so no one gets left out inadvertently.
Under no
circumstances should the invitation list the places you're registered.
The purpose of the invitation is to let your friends and family know
that you want them to be present on this important day, not to tell them
that you expect a gift from them. The proper way for guests to find out
where you are registered is by word of mouth or on your wedding
website.
Timing of invitations is important, especially if guests
will have to travel. Send invitations out no later than eight weeks
before the wedding. This will give guests plenty of time to make
arrangements and plan for the wedding, and it gives the bride and groom
time to make preparations for their guests and coordinate the caterer
and accommodations.
Make sure you send thank you notes right away,
and hand-write them. When your guests are thoughtful enough to spend a
day with you and bring a gift (and in many cases, travel and days off
work are involved), you owe it to them to send a personal thank-you note
that is hand written and describes their gift and how much you
appreciate it. Mass thank you notes are a major no-no.
Your
invitation is the first impression guests will have of your wedding, so
start off on the right foot with thoughtful, polite invitations that
reflect your joy and how excited you are to have them with you on your
wedding day.
